Tray (poopsiekins) wrote,
Tray
poopsiekins

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. . .i nEVER rEALiZED hOW mUCH yOU fEEL fOR sOMEBODiE aFTER yOU lET tHEM gO. . .

This, my friends, was written on Friday but LJ is a bish head and two halves so it wouldn't let me post...anyway. = )

First off -- I Have a Britney Spears' Collecters cup from QT that I am very proud of now. lol

Aite Bish heads... been awhile huh? Yup. I don't really have a clue where to pick up...so Imma just run wit it...

I helped paint Alicia's new room in her new house last nite (Thursday nite) with Justin n Her.... Justin painted my face purple as well as every other place basically, he even got it in my mouth. I painted him too though. Fun times! Justin, INDIAN NOISES. lol

Wednesday me and Alicia went to the Softball game rite... well, we missed Varsity so we got there when JV was playing... Casey is on Varsity... Casey was sitting beside Jonathan all talking with him and touching him like old times... this angered me somewhat...Alicia and I snuck in behind him and sat there til my cell phone rang and he turned around knowing my ring and had a nice shocked look on his face. I walked off to take the call and when I was done he was like Who Was that? And I was like I'm sorrie I don't think I have to tell you shit ever again. And he was like Trace she's my friend c'mon. And I was like I know YOU know that but does SHE? I luff Casey she's one of my favoritestestest friends cuz she's fuckin hysterical -- but the girl wants him 'n it's obvious. So anyway I just let it go... but I was still kinda pissed. After the game Alicia n Me went to Justin's house, but he was at work so we went out to her new house til it started to rain then went back home and yeah.

So today... I wrote this at school so woo you're excited...

Oy. I so seepie. Currently I'm in Biology, fun stuff. I want English. Should be fun, actually. Anyway, we're doing metric conversions. Uh, I'm en Espanol now. We're going over speaking rules, fun for all. Nick keeps poking my bruises, asshead. K. Hi. I'm in Algebra now. English was kewl stuff.

K that's all. Lol. Nah, but backtracking... in Spanish Billy thought he should probably pick me up and flip me upside down. During this lovely twirl, I hit my head on the cieling. I now have a huge cut across my forhead along with a niiice bruise the size of Texas. Not to mention the ankel I sprained running with Matt the other day smacked into Senora Oste's desk. Fun times. At lunch, I was sitting there working on my English and I didn't understand a question or two so James helped me out. Once I got done I was soo releived so I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek cuz I'm cute like that. Well, Jonathan walked in... and I didn't think it would phase him or bug him... so I went about my business. He sat down, but didnt ask anyone to move so he could sit by me... which isn't normal. He didn't say anything to me, so I kept paying attention to the guys like I had. Billy kept making me let him put a wet paper towel on my head, James and I kept laughing about how I ran into the door for the 3rd time with him and Derrik and I kept winkin n makin "go horsie" noises. I still didnt say anything cuz I was kinda mad about last nite still... well I was like Imma go get a pop and Nick pops up and is like I'll come with you, Jonathan huffed and I just kinda looked at him. So, as I was walking back into the lunch room Jonathan stopped me and was like We've gotta talk.So, we walked down the seal hall n he didn't say anything, so we got to the end where the doors are and I was like 'Are you gunan yell? Do we need to go outside?' cuz I basically figured he was gunna. He rolled his eyes ever so dramatically and steered me towards my locker n started going on and on and on about how I had no rite to complain about him and Casey and I was like aite ok fine, don't make a scene. And he was like 'I'M NOT! I'm not pissed! I just would rather you not act like you screw every guy you see!', this was at the bell and Grant heard him and saw the way I reacted and I was like "Yanno you can just fuck off J" n stormed off. Natural reaction for him was to run after me, so he did. He finally caught up with me and saw how upset I was n was like Fuck. I was prettie damn shocked cuz I've NEVER cried over any guy except Drew. Yeah, I got pissed, but I never cried. It was weird, really weird. I wasn't even just crying, it like hurt. So anyway, he was all trying to calm me down so we went outside n sat in the grass beside the building and he was like why are you so upset? and I was like I dunno n he goes Trace, we've faught before n we'll probably do it again cuz we care about each other so much n need each other n everytime we fight it's over something we think we're gunna lose one another over. And I realized he was rite. It doesn't matter if we're together in a boyfriend/girlfriend sense, we don't NEED that... but we both know parts of each of us want it. He's the best thing that's here rite now. I need him. Need him to hold me, to be the sensible one in everything, to be there whether it's a hair crisis or something serious. You can look at him and see how much he cares, it's amazing. He hangs on my every word and really makes me feel like something extrodinary. I love catching him looking at me when he thinks I don't know and the faint blush that creeps on his face, the way he sneeks up behind me expecting me not to be able to know it's him when he wraps his hands over my eyes, the way he runs his hands through my hair when I'm upset, the soft kisses on my forehead, how his hand fits so perfectly in the curve of my back, how he smells, how he calls just to tell me hey or see how I'm doing or just cuz he was thinking about me. Just everything he does without a single word, but so amazing and it's so special. He's got the biggest heart and is sooo unselfish. And after almost two years of being like this... close...I'm finally realizing all the fighting and break-ups were such a waste of time and we're stuck together now, no turning back. But yet I still don't want a relationship... what the fuck is wrong with me.

Ashley n Drew are back together. *throws confetti* Puzzling.

I don't even hardlie see anyone I chilled with this summer. It kinda sux... but I like this better. Sammi, KT, Karisa n Ash never see me hardlie. I eat lunch with Amanda, Amy, Becca, Ricci n Larson tho. Woo - Hoo!

Jonathan and the rest of the guys play at Knob Noster tonite. I don't get to go cuz my parent's don't want me driving that far and I forgot to talk to Coach Glasgow about riding the bus. Michelle is speanding the nite though... we'll probably go to Nick's or he'll come here or something.

I've been fuckin myself up left n rite. I'm currently wrapping three parts of my bodie, popping advil as much as I'm allowed to releive the pain and icing my shoulder, knee, elbow and ankel nitely. Isn't this sad?! Basketball, running and just walking in general cause nothing but accidents.

Just cuz I'm getting tired of sharing stuff with you retards (haha...) I'm goin ni nite.
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